


Monty Python and the Post-Brexit Hellscape

by DoreyG



Category: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
Genre: Brexit, British Comedy, Crack, Fourth Wall, Gen, Politics, Treat, possible time travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 06:04:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8316622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoreyG/pseuds/DoreyG
Summary: "I!" King Arthur announced, in a tone of great - and rather incredibly dashing, if he did say so himself - determination, "am going to run as an MP!"





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tish/gifts).



> I feel like I should note before this that I definitely voted Remain and possibly have strong views on how the Brexit vote went. Hope you enjoy! :D

"I!" King Arthur announced, in a tone of great - and rather incredibly dashing, if he did say so himself - determination, "am going to run as an MP!"

This did not, to his great disappointment, produce the breathless reaction that he had been hoping for. Sir Robin looked a little confused, Sir Galahad stared out of the window with a somewhat forlorn expression, Sir Lancelot only continued to sharpen the lance that he had unaccountably brought into the meeting room. Out of all of them only Sir Bedevere seemed to be paying any attention, and even that was with a slightly disconcerted wrinkle between his brows.

"I said-!" King Arthur tried again, making sure to put extra vim and vigor into his voice in the hope that that would pep up the room.

"We heard what you said," Sir Galahad said morosely, with a heavy heave of his chest like he was about to start weeping at any moment. It was possibly a chastity thing, possibly an enforced chastity thing, possibly an enforced chastity thing brought on by the complete and utter lack of spanking.

"Then why-?"

"We're all very excited for your entrance into the arena of politics, your highness," Sir Bedevere interrupted hastily, before his King did what so often came naturally to him and started to invade pesky foreign countries, "of course we all are, aren't we?"

"Are we?" Sir Robin whispered, matching his expression of great confusion with a tone that somehow managed to convey even greater bafflement.

"It's just..."

"Just what?" King Arthur asked. He no longer seemed quite on the point of charging into France and yelling at every person he found, but he had developed a quite dangerous pout, "I am the king of England! Surely we can also all agree that that entirely prepares me to be a politician?"

"Yes, true," Sir Bedevere nodded with a great deal of enthusiasm, so much enthusiasm that his helmet looked rather at risk of falling off in an entirely dramatic manner, "but, your highness, there is the tiny fact that you were a king in the middle ages and that we now seem to be in 2016."

"So?" King Arthur muttered, still pouting.

"The skills needed to lead in 2016 are completely different from those needed in the middle ages, your highness," Sir Bedevere provided. He was too well bred to allow his desperation to show, but there did seem to be a slightly frantic look around the whites of his eyes, "as, uh, _unfortunate_ as it is you can no longer go around subjugating the poor and invading the homes of people just because they happen to look a bit foreign. It just isn't done!"

"Yes it is," Sir Lancelot said, largely to his lance.

"Yes it is!" King Arthur cried triumphantly, frowned, then turned in Lancelot's direction with the pout almost entirely disappearing under an expression of confusion, "it is?"

"Well, I pick up a lot of papers," Sir Lancelot finally looked up, glanced around the generally confused room with as close as he ever got to a benign smile, "y'know, old ones to polish all my weapons. And if you join this party called the conservatives it seems like you get to go around subjugating the poor and invading the homes of slightly foreign looking chaps as much as you like. They even held a sort of vote to legitimize it recently, what was it called..."

"The vote to exit the European Union was a little more complicated than that," Sir Bedevere interrupted hastily, with the expression of a man whose stomach had just packed up and decided to move to Australia, "and certainly shouldn't be taken as Carte Blanche to act like a despicable-"

"Oh, yeah, Brexit!"

"Brexit," King Arthur said, a dangerous gleam - the same dangerous gleam that he always had, when kicking mud at the unworthy who dared to do such stupid things as talk and breathe and demand basic human rights - entering his eyes, "you know what, this conservative party sounds right up my alley. It seems like they, if nobody else, have the proper ideas about going about things in 2016."

"Your highness-" Sir Bedevere whimpered, in much the tone of a man who knew that the battle was entirely lost.

"Silence!" King Arthur bellowed, and started to stride backwards and forwards across the front of the room like a royal born and not just some tit who happened to be wearing a crown, "I have made my decision, and it is to run as an MP for the glorious Conservative party in the year of our lord 2016! Now, all I need is a seat and a campaign manager..."

"Maybe I can help with that," Tim the Enchanter purred, appearing from nowhere in a puff of smoke that seemed - at least to poor Sir Bedevere - to have a slightly demonic tint to it.

"Excellent!"

And King Arthur beamed, Sir Bedevere looked sadly resigned, Sir Lancelot went back to polishing his unaccountable lance, Sir Galahad let out a sigh more like a frustrated sob, Sir Robin continued to look incredibly confused...

"Just what you'd expect from the bloody Tories, innit?" And a loud, unimpressed voice drifted in through the window. Seeming to bless all the proceedings within with a hearty working class dash of scorn, "suppressing us good honest folk, while living in bleeding palaces. A class revolution is what we need, a Socialist uprising that actually takes into account the needs of us people..."


End file.
